Bad Advice: How to Waste Your Nerves on the Road

Everyone will agree that we spend a portion of our nerve cells on the road, wherever it may lead. Every oddball on a metal steed passing by or coming the other way, a tow truck inconveniently in your path — all this gradually "wears out" our nerves. But why wait? There are high-speed methods that let you quickly unravel the whole ball of yarn completely!

Don't bother thinking about who's behind the wheel of the neighboring cars. Who knows who it might be: an elderly person, a pregnant woman, someone with a disability or a novice… Got into the driver's seat — then drive, don't sleep! And those who are sleeping you can cut off, blast a long honk at, or even shout straight into their open window to get them moving! Don't hold back, and 5% of your nerve cells will disappear without a trace.

Checking the condition of your car is unnecessary! And there's absolutely no need to make sure you have your mobile phone with you if a long trip lies ahead. So what if you break down on the highway! Will your loved ones worry? So what? At least you can spend the whole night admiring the lights of a distant city. Or maybe a miracle will happen and a runaway tow truck will pass by — after all, Moscow is only about a hundred kilometers down the road. Alarm system? What, have alarm clocks been cancelled? What's wrong with setting an alarm and peeking out the window every hour? By the way, how much would that cost? 5% of your nerve cells.

And have you forgotten how noble risk is? Speeding, driving into oncoming traffic — that's risk, bright impressions! You'll also hear how delighted other road users are by your recklessness. And if you answer them back, even better — 10% of your nerves gone as if they'd never been!

Don't hunt everywhere for information about traffic jams and blockages trying to plan a detour — you're not a bore, are you? A traffic jam, exhaust fumes everywhere, simply perfect! Another 10% of your nerves will leave you.

Even better if you get stuck in a jam while you're running late. It wouldn't occur to you to give your relatives or management a warning call, would it? There's nothing you can do anyway, evidently only evacuating the cars of all those sleepy flies who caused the jam will help. Besides, not all your nerves are worn out yet!

Don't lose it. Instead of searching for pleasant music, desperately curse your neighbors in the jam. Replace calm, even breathing with pounding your fists on the steering wheel and hammering the horn (surely it won't break). Choose nonstop smoking over planning tomorrow and other daydreams, and opt for bitten nails instead of dried fruit. Managed it? Great, 20% of your nerves spent.